Teaching the Heart, Not the Math

I love being home with my children! I love being able to have the opportunity to teach them at home and to raise them up in the ways of the Lord. If you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that I am very passionate about homeschooling. But what about those days when homeschooling isn’t for me? We typically have at least one day a week, when the school work, the lesson plans, and the projects get tossed aside. We have to toss the Goodyear Homeschool so that we can work on a little Goodyear heart.

Wednesday was a typical day for us. We got started on our math around 9AM. Normally it takes me one hour to get math done with all the kids. The twins don’t really have a “math curriculum”, but they sort colors, count, and make patterns with our Math U See blocks. It took 1 hour and 34 minutes just to get math done with one of my older kids. This would not have been a huge problem if this child didn’t KNOW how to do the math that we were working on. His heart was in the wrong place. He wasn’t teachable Wednesday. For whatever reason his heart was up and ready for a fight, and he wanted to argue with everything that I was trying to teach him. I became quickly frustrated, and this back and forth resulted in a very long, and drug out math session.

That evening I was reflecting back on our morning math disaster when it suddenly hit me that not only was he unwilling to be taught, I wasn’t willing to teach. I had other things that needed to be done. Four other children needed to do math, PLUS the reading, English, and spelling. My heart was not in the right place. I was ready for a fight and I was going to argue back with everything that he had to say. I chose to ignore the clear heart issues we were having. My goal at that moment during that lesson veered off course. I was focused on the Math, not my child.

It’s NOT the math that matters – it’s the heart. It’s their character. I can’t teach their heart when I’m not focused on their heart. If I’m not focused on winning their heart – then there is an issue with MY heart.

Too often I forget that I am surrounded by little hearts that don’t know Christ yet. That’s my job, to show them Christ. I need to be teaching their hearts, and bringing them to scripture. We don’t do everything without arguing and complaining because mom says so – we do it because God says so.

It is easy as a homeschooler to get caught up with the academics in our home. I’m here to let you know that I fail often. I’m sure that you fail often. God gives grace! Please be encouraged as I was encouraged as you remember the patience that our Heavenly Father has with us. He is teaching us, and leading us, so that we might better serve Him. He was trying to teach me during our math lesson the other day, yet I was being unreachable. Remember their hearts when dealing with a battle of the wills. Remember their hearts when that preschooler needs a spanking – again. Remember their hearts when their toys aren’t picked up, even though you’ve told them countless times already today. Remember their hearts when the math doesn’t click. Remember their hearts when the reading doesn’t come easy. Remember their hearts when you don’t want to be respectful to your husband. Remember their hearts when you’re tired. Remember their hearts when you have dishes to do. Remember their hearts when your schedule isn’t going as planned. Remember their hearts, remember scripture, remember grace, and just simply lead them to the cross in all that you do. Nothing else matters. It’s the heart issues that count not the math. It begins with OUR hearts. Turn your heart to scripture and prayer, and He will equip you to lead theirs.

Super Flawed, Not Super Mom

As a mother of 5, I get bombarded with all kinds of comments. Some welcomed and friendly, others are mumbled under the breath of bystanders as we parade into the grocery store, and then there are the downright ugly comments like "If I had that many kids I would shoot myself" (yes seriously said outloud to me, in front of my children). My grandmother often says things like "You are remarkable", or "I have the utmost respect for what you do". I feel very undeserving when comments like those come my way. Actually what I really feel is embarrassment. If those people only knew the truth.

I am not the super mom that is sometimes thought of me, or that I would like to be at times. I am a terrible sinner, extremely flawed and not deserving of the blessings God has chosen to give me. I'm not a "embrace the mess, and have fun" kind of mom. I get very uncomfortable when my children misbehave at church, or in public because fear sets in of what others will think of me as a parent. Flawed. Super Flawed. The statement "Your children know you best" terrifies me. The mom that I am when the 5th spill of the day occurs, or the muddy shoe prints come running through on the freshly mopped floor is not the mom that I want my children to remember me as. How about you? Would you talk to your friends the way you talk to your children sometimes? What's going on when no one is looking?

I am flawed-terribly flawed. God is gracious - amazingly gracious! The hope, and the encouragment for the super flawed super mom- comes from our salvation in Christ. He alone can give us the strength and the endurance for a change. On those days that we have more than we can handle, and are quick to become angry, Christ can change our hearts! I am so thankful that God gives us second chances when we mess up. I pray that I take the time to learn from my heavenly Father how to me an earthly mother.

So if you ever find yourself looking at a family and thinking "They've got it all together" or "She's such a super mom", please remember that behind every smiling face you see, there is a home life. There are times when we yell, become angry, and have breakdowns. We don't always get the dishes done, our homes (especially homeschoolers) are messy, we are flawed sinners. There is no such things as "Super Mom"

Want to be the best mom you can be for the glory of God though? Remember God's sovereign grace! Oh how patient He was with the Israelites! How many times He has given us second chances! Our children deserve that. Remember to give grace. Remember to say that you are sorry when you've messed up. Remember they are children, and not mini adults. Rememer - they are flawed sinners - in need of Christ. Remember - you are their missionary, your home is your mission field, and you are the example of Christ that they have to see daily. Take joy and pride in your calling as a mother! Remember we are all super flawed, and that God is amazingly gracious!

Cleaning for Christ

I am not a clean freak. This is no shock to the ones that know me best. I actually HATE cleaning! However, I thrive in a clean, and organized environment. I can't function when the house is messy. The cleaning process just doesn't come easy for me. I'd much rather sit down, play a game with the kids, or relax with a good book. While I am still not quite as "clean" as I would like to be, God has brought me a long way in this part of my life. When we were first married you could barely see the floor from all the "stuff". That's really all it was, stuff. I was a terrible housekeeper. I would have ran from articles like this: "Home is More Than Dirty Laundry"

My husband and I have been married for 9.5 years, and it wasn't until around year 6.5 that I really started to snap out of the slump I was in, and start taking care of my home. Scripture has a lot to say about laziness. "If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks." Ecclesiastes 10:18 "Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor." (Proverbs 12:24) "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest." (Proverbs 6:6-8)The old and New Testament has plenty to say about laziness! Yet, taking care of our home, and staying on top of the cleaning, tending to the children...goes beyond productivity and staying away from being lazy. It's about serving Christ. WOW - ouch. That really hurts. If I am not doing my best in the home then I am not fullfilling God's purpose for my life. He has specific roles for men and women. Both are equally important in serving our Maker. Titus 2 tells women to be keepers of the home. 1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us that WHATEVER we do, we do it all for the glory of God. That is the scripture that really touches my heart, and the scripture I need to hear the most. In my cleaning, homemaking, training of children, and serving my husband, I am serving Christ. He has allowed me to stay home, and has blessed me with a home to raise my family in. A common thought among people is that stay at home moms lack socialization and education, or that we are slaves to our husbands barking orders, and becoming doormats to his demands. A Stay at Home Mom - is NEVER "Just a Mom". It's a calling that God has placed on your life. Embrace this calling with joy! You sacrifice your schedule, your time, your wants, your desires, your needs for your family - joyfully, because in doing so, you are serving Christ, and showing His love to your family. Please don't think that I am saying that ALL the cleaning needs to be done with a smile on your face, with excitement in your step, and with a love for cleaning, cooking, and training. Just joyfully serve Christ. If you remember WHY you are cleaning, cooking, and training, it will make those task much easier to handle because you are doing them for the glory of God. I am not there yet. I still battle, and kinda have a little temper tantrum in my head when once again the dishes are piled, and the toilets need cleaning - AGAIN. That song that I sang in Sunday school goes through my mind though: "He's still working on me, to make me what I aught to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars; the sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be; He's still working on me." Those words remind me that He's not done with me yet. If the cleaning doesn't come easy, or if you find yourself leaning toward laziness - don't be discouraged. Change - today! Step by step, day by day, pray for God to give you the strength to joyfully serve Him in your home.

More Than We Can Handle

We've all had those rough days. The kind that make you throw your hands over your eyes, and just weep. Perhaps your child has been disobedient, the laundry is overflowing, the dishes are piled up, and the toddler is playing with his poop...again. We have all been overwhelemed, felt defeated, and at times, incapable of this tast of being mom. Surely God wouldn't give me more than we can handle right? I mean, that's what everyone says when they try to console you, when you feel like throwing in the towel, at the loss of a pregnancy, or the diagnosis of a disease, people always say "God doesn't give you more than you can handle". To that I say "Where in the Bible does it say that?". I've looked, I've searched. It's NOT there. It sounds awesome...and in my earlier mothering years I clung to that phrase. I found hope in knowing that God doesn't give me more than I can handle. But guess what? That's a lie. God does not promise that it's going to be easy. In fact...he says to count these trials, these battles, these moments of feeling defeated...to count them as JOY! You see, apart from Christ, we are NOTHING. I am nothing without him. I CAN'T be a good homemaker, an effective helpmeet, or a loving mother without God's grace, and his strength. So in those moments of desperation, helplessness, and defeat what do we do? RUN! Stop everything you are doing and RUN! Run to the cross, fall into the arms of Christ and lay it at His feet. Because our hope, our strength, and our endurance comes from HIM! Dear sleep deprived mother, overstressed homemaker, and exhausted wife...He has given you so much more than you can handle, so that you will cling to Him! During the battle of the wills, the diaper changes, the multiple baths, and the many many loads of laundry, God has placed a mountain, a struggle, SOMETHING there that pushes you to your breaking point and keeps you on your knees. Please find hope and assurance in knowing that God has a perfect plan for your life - all of it. During the highs, and the lows God is in complete control of it all. Run to Him! You can't get all the laundry done. You can't homeschool your children. You can't lead them to Christ. You can't be a sufficient housewife. You can't. But through Christ you can! Find hope, joy, and strength in your Creator! In the trials, and tribulations the go along with being a mother - Christ is drawing you to Him. He's teaching you something through those battles, and moments of being completely overwhelmed. Pray, and joyfully allow it, to keep you on your knees.

Battle of Wills

I have a difficult child. I have MULTIPLE strong-willed children. However there is one child that makes a battle out of EVERYTHING. I honestly think if I told him to go get some ice cream out of the freezer to have a snack, that he would argue, backtalk, or fuss about what KIND of ice cream. I feel from the moment this child's feet hit the floor in the morning, to the second he falls asleep I am constantly engaged in a very extreme battle of wills. It has escelleated to this child yelling at me, growling at me, and yes...I've even had a fist raised at me. I'm not over-exagerating either...the battle is with EVERYTHING. So what does a mom do? How can we help with the disobedience, and the arguing? One Faithful Mom has put it in words so much better than I ever could. Head on over to her page and check out her thoughts on these issues in her post: Just Be The Mom