It has been a VERY VERY long time since I wrote a post. However, with a new school year on the horizon, I have a new goal to blog at least a couple times a week to keep up with how our week goes. Homeschoolers don't typically have a "year book" so this is my digital way of keeping the memories fresh in my mind. So bear with me as we slowly progress back to recent post!

October is Pregnancy, Infant Loss, and SIDS awareness month

This awareness is very near and dear to my heart. I have lost a child, and several nieces and nephews over the years due to pregnancy loss. I have friends who have also gone through this very tragic experience. A pregnancy loss will change your life. I have never spoken to a woman who wouldn't argue that fact. There is a feeling like something is missing. The heartache that a momma feels for her lost child is not something that can be fixed easily. It is not easily mended. It is not easily comforted. The heartache that a momma feels for the loss of a child can only be soothed by the overwhelming comfort that comes from or Heavenly Father. Knowing that God is in control and He is sovereign is the only way to get through such a difficult time. If a woman is able to get through the loss of a baby and still have a strong faith in the Lord, that speaks volumes about her relationship with Christ. I was not one of those women when we experienced our loss.

I thought back then that I had a relationship with the Lord, however my faith was not solid. I was living a lie. I remember being bitter when people would comment that I didn't need a baby anyway. I would have to hide my tears when friends would ask how the pregnancy is going and I would then once again have to explain the loss all over again. I was hurt, mad, angry, upset, and broken.

I have always wanted a "May" baby. It is such a beautiful month and the perfect time to bring a baby into the world! September 12th 2003 I found out I was expecting our second child. I did what any woman does when she finds out she is expecting...I started calculating my due date...MAY! My due date was MAY! May 13th! We quickly told friends and family members who were not so thrilled since we already had a 10 month old baby boy. We got the usual "Do you know what is causing that?" "You are going to have your hands FULL" comments. I was thrilled. Every life is a precious gift from the Lord, and every life is a BLESSING. The Lord created that beautiful
child!

A few short weeks later the Lord took him/ her away. October 15th sticks out in my mind just as clear as it was yesterday. I had experienced some cramping and other warning signs. My husband quickly took me to the emergency room. I laid on that bed and waited as the doctor did the ultrasound. I looked and saw the empty picture on the screen. "How far along were you?" I was asked. "Eight weeks." "At eight weeks we would be able to see a sac on the ultrasound, and we can't find anything." My hopes, thrills, excitement, and joy was gone. I'd never have that beautiful May birthday party.

Looking back on it all now I know that God has a purpose and that He always has a plan. That doesn't mean I don't still remember and mourn. When people ask us how many children we have I want to say 6. I remember that child everyday. Perhaps that's not normal, but I don't care (I've always been a bit weird). When picking out a mother's ring I always want to include the May birthstone, however I have been told that "people don't do that". So instead I remember that child in my heart. I have a angel willow tree that stands next to our "family" of willow tree figurines. The angel represents our child that we never brought home from the hospital in our arms. October is Pregnancy, Infant Loss, and SIDS awareness month. However the loss awareness is in my heart often.

Our (tiny) Schoolroom

I have read so many blogs where the moms show off their super creative and super large school rooms. I do not have the luxury of having an entire open room to devote to our studies. However I am very thankful that we are no longer in the kitchen! I'm sure my husband would agree. So let me give you a tour of our school room. It is located in our basement. One half of the room is a living room, and the other half is our classroom and then our laundry room. The shool area used to be a bar/ entertaining area from the previous owner of our home.
So here it is: This is the view from our family room.



Here is our book corner.

Eventually I would love to put a bean bag here and maybe some more pillows, but for now, they enjoy looking through our library books that usually coordinate with our unit study.

This is A7's spot.


This is where H4 sits.


Here is B5's seat.


This is the shelf that holds all of my totschool items. As well as many cute preschool activities from Confessions of a Homeschooler It looks like a mess, but everything is in containers and labeled!


This is the computer corner


This book shelf holds mostly my stuff. The top shelf has guides/ master copies of things and our Math blocks. 2nd shelf has our 2010/2011 schoolbooks (excluding their daily books that are at their seats) 3rd row has various workbooks/ reading programs that we don't use everyday, just sometimes as supplemental work. 4th shelf has our chapter books and readers, as well as our children's encyclopedia's and dictionaries. The 5th shelf which you can't see has picture books on it.


Underneath the bar that the kiddos sit at, is a mumbled jumbled hodge podge of stuff. I store our art supplies/ puzzles/ binders/ curriculum I have picked up over the years, but not had a chance to use yet/ coloring stuff/ laminator/paper/ and our playdoh.



This is our daily schedule. Floor to ceiling. 30 minute increments for all 6 of us.


This last photo is of our Calendar poster. We go over several activities on this each day.


That's it. That's our schoolroom. It's where I spend half of my day! It's small, and super messy at times, but I get to create some remarkable memories with my sweet blessings in this room. So many moms are missing out on the joy of teaching their children at home. The sweet sense of accomplishment when you finally figure out your child's learning style. The tears of joy when they master that math problem that you just spent half an hour working on. The squeals of excitement from my 4 year old when she gets to start school for the day. Then there is the overwhelming sadness that comes over me when I stop at think, that one day they will all be gone. Those are the moments that remind me to soak it all up while I can. They grow up in the blink of an eye!